A woman’s worst nightmare is to raise a child(ern) without her mother alive to ask for help or advice. Why? Well, the continence questioning of what should I do, what would my mother do, is this even right, how do I handle (insert problem), and whom do I turn to.
Yes, every mom questions her ability of motherhood at one point or another then turns to her mother for guidance. A motherless mom has mother like figures, such as mother in laws, friends’ moms, or family members. Nothing is the same as your very own mother’s words of wisdom. Every day is a battle with the mind. Don’t worry the battle is easy to win with a few simple task.
1. Breath through the struggle of “what would mom do” thoughts.
Breathing is the key through any panic attack, overthinking, or questioning. It helps soothes the mind to take a step back and analyze what’s happening around you instead of freaking out.
2. Remember what your mom taught you growing up.
It’s important to never forget what your mom taught you. She made you into the wonderful, beautiful woman you’re today, so value the lesson she taught you. Take the time to share all of these lessons with your child(ren) well. Your mother will live on through the precious life lessons within your daughter and yourself.
3. Cherish the proud mom moments with your daughter.
Yes, you may not have your mom around to share these moments with, but it didn’t mean you can’t enjoy the “I taught her” this yourself. Of course it’s nice to have someone to share proud moments with. You have to learn to hold on tight to the simple moments like teaching your child(ren) to love books or watching her eyes light up when she understands something for the first time.
4. Make a memory box filled with your mother’s things, picture, etc.
The box can help you get through the roughest days by reminding you of your mom’s face or what you loved about her. It’s also a good thing to have for your daughter as well. Your child(ren) may not be able to meet her physical, but she can get to know her by pictures and special items.
5. Tell your daughter stories about Grandma.
The picture you have saved away either in a box (referring to #4) or photo album can help you tell your child(ren) stories. He or she will enjoy hearing about the person in the photos. You will be able to help your mom live on and never be forgotten.
6. Try to channel your mom into your dreams.
I personally haven’t tried this tip. A friend of mine recently said that I should try to call out to my mom to show me tips on potty training. I’m not sure how this will work or help me, but I’m willing to try. Why, because I need more ways to have my mom on life. Try this and maybe calling her into a dream will comfort you.
7. It’s okay to cry.
Don’t ever tell yourself not to cry. Crying helps release all of your mind’s feelings at once. Let it all go. Remind yourself, it’s okay to feel without your mom. She would want you to have emotions. She would want you to show your child(ren) that mommy has emotions as well. Emotions are important for your child(ren) to learn, especially from his or her mother. Yes, losing your own mother is hard, but know crying will show the little girl or boy in your life strong woman can feel too. Please don’t think crying doesn’t make you weak. It makes you stronger because you are willing to understand it’s ok to let go of everything.
Take these seven steps to heart. Everything will take out better. I’m not going to say okay because you probably hear, “Everything will be okay,” from everyone around you. Things just get better, not okay.
Do you like what you’re reading? Check out my page, Kimi Ann-Marie for various of posts about relationships,anxiety/depression, mom life, and grieving. Check out my page, Positive Thinking About Parents Death for grieving advice about your mom or dad and reminding yourself you’re not alone.