Your mind is constantly spinning on circles. You never know what’s going to happen next. It drains you completely. You’re the girl who life loves to throw under the bus.
You feel as if Life thinks, what else can I put on her plate? How much will break her? It’s overwhelming being strong girl everyone knows or looks to for support.
Every day, you can’t help but wonder how much more can you take. You wonder when is the next time you’re going to feel happy again and how long will it last? Some people would call you depressed, which you are. You can’t deny that. You just wish everyone would stop labeling you.
You know you’re depressed, but hearing the words, it’s just your depression talking, hurts down inside. The sentence creeps in your head and lingers until you feel every word carve a scar inside of your brain. You comprehend your feelings as the scars make their marks, but sometimes you wish others would just close their mouths.
You don’t understand how others can call you the strongest person they know one minute then put you down the next. It’s like as if you’re not allowed to complain. God forbid you do and the world attacks with word weapons.
People don’t notice, but words are what hurts you the most. You’re so used to life attacking you that it’s just old news. For some reason, you have got other people’s words out of your head. You’re constantly replaying conversation in your mind wondering how else you could have said something or verse. You hold onto what others think of you way too personally. It’s not like you meant to but just happens over and over again.
You constantly wondering who you can trust because life is draining you along with words swimming in your mind. Sometimes, you think maybe if I shut down my “caring” mode. Maybe, life will get bored enough to stop and words will have no meaning.
Unfortunately, it’s not as easy as it sounds.
You have to pick yourself up through the darkest days because you’re the only one who can. Be the strongest girl everyone knows and show life you will always put up a fight.
Maybe one day life will stop pushing you around if you never give up fighting. You’ll never know unless you never give up.