A dad is a girl’s first love. A dad is a boy’s first best friend. What happens when your first love or first best friend is gone? Your heart shatters into a million pieces. Everything around you becomes unfocused and unclear.
You start questioning the meaning of your life.
How do I cope? Will I ever learn how to cope? Where do I go from here? Why did this happen? Who can I turn to? How will I move on with my life? What can I do to move on? How can I comfort my children or people when I cannot even focus myself?
You will learn how to cope as the years pass by. Over time, your father’s death will get easier. You will figure out how to deal with loss and the emotions that come with it.
Why should you believe me? My father died eight years in January. I have come to a point of acceptance. I know how to deal with my everyday life without him being around. I know certain ways to cope with my loss.
I promise you will learn too.
Before you comfort others, you NEED to focus on yourself.
It’s important to take some time for yourself. Do whatever makes you happy. Focus on living in the moment. Once you feel at ease, let yourself think about your favorite memory of your dad.
Learn a new hobby.
Go out of your comfort zone to learn something new. Let yourself try a hobby that you always wanted to learn, but never took a chance to try.
You have to find a hobby to fill in the holes and move forward.
Talk to people who help you move onward; not people who feel sorry for you.
The biggest lesson you MUST learn after your father’s death is who will actually support you. Support is the key. You need a powerful, positive group of people to help you stay on track. People who feel sorry for you will only make you feel worse and steer you down a road of depression. That’s NOT what you need right now, especially if you have children in your life.
Get plenty of sunlight.
When you step outside and look at life around you, it helps you remember the circle of life. The sunlight lifts your spirit to help you feel brighter inside. Take a walk. Go for a run. Sit outside and let nature take over you. Spend time near the ocean, if you live by one. You should think of any outdoor adventure to help you relax.
Take a shopping trip.
You can window shop or treat yourself. That’s up to you.
Wait. Before you think, “what if I see a father with his daughter or son;” take a breath and think about a time your dad took you to the mall. It could be a recent one or your favorite.
Think about your favorite memory.
Another key is trying to remember your favorite memory of your dad. When you take the time to remember a favorite memory, it allows you to think of the good versus the bad. A memory is also a way to help your dad live on.
Share stories about your dad emotions.
The last and most important thing, besides focusing on yourself, is talking about your dad with family members or friends who knew him. Your dad will live on through stories others and yourself share.
Express your emotions.
It’s also important to talk how his death affects your everyday life. Do not allow yourself to bottle up your emotions; talk about them along with your stories. At first talking about his death will make you feel horrible, but as time goes on, I promise, talking will get easier.
Next time, you miss your father thinks about one or more of my tips. Let yourself focus and soak in the memory of him. He lives within you now. Embrace his spirit, in order to grieve and help others. I wish you the best of luck. Please, remember you have to push yourself through the dark patches on your own.
Check out my page, Kimi Ann-Marie for various of posts about life, mom life, and grieving. Check out my page, Positive Thinking About Parents Death for grieving advice about your mom or dad and reminding yourself you’re not alone.