Mom friends are the best. The only problem is finding the perfect moms to have in your child’s (or children’s) and your life. The relationship isn’t only about you anymore. It’s all about the kids involved because, let’s be real, they have to like each other for the mom bond to evolve.
You may feel as if you’re going on dates. The truth is you kind of are. The only differences are you say, “play date, ” instead of “dates,” little mini people tag along, and looking like a bum is acceptable.
Play dates and dates are completely different, but yet have similarities.
Mom friends have play dates at a house or meet up at parks, the mall, amusement parks, or anywhere kid friendly. Food is only involved if the kids don’t have a meltdown. Movies dates are only with children over the age of 4. Conversations are always interrupted with share, stop don’t do that, don’t hit, why is that in your mouth, what are you guys doing, etc.
Dates are more focused on the individual you’re out with.
The typical date is a dinner and a movie. If you want to go outside of normal, you can go anywhere. You don’t have to be home for bedtime. Conversations are only interrupted when another person ask a question, such as an order at dinner or ordering movie tickets.
Kids drain the life out of their mom on bad days.
Another mom will understand this because they have been there. And hey, if you can get time alone to do your makeup and your hair, she will notice and give you a compliment or `make a joke like, “I see, your kid(s)’ name(s), let your get ready today.”
Let’s face it; you have to wear makeup and do your hair.
A date is about looking your best to impress someone. You may get a compliment on the first or second date, maybe more often, but looking good is expected. If you don’t look your best it’s not going to go anywhere.
Once you accept finding the perfect mom friends is like date, you can start thinking about requirements for your mom friends.
You need to think about what kind of things you’re looking for in mom friends. Don’t forget you need to remember your kid(s) as well.
Four universal requirements are:
You should look for moms who will listen to rants about your kid(s).
It’s important to know you can always go to them for anything just like your friends before you had kids. The only difference about mom friendships is talking about poop, how annoyed you are with kids, how much your hubby pissed you off today (if a guy is in the picture), and any other kid related complaints. Anyone can just talk about these things, but listening and getting some feedback is the key.
Your kid(s) must get along with each other and the mom friends.
Think about it, if the kids don’t get along play dates aren’t going to be fun. You want to make sure the kids have fun. If they’re not happy, the moms aren’t happy. Your kid(s) also must like your mom friends. If they like the friends, then you will feel more comfortable too.
You should look for mom friends who have the same shared parenting beliefs as you.
Mom friends are the ones who you will be turning to for advice. You need to share the same views so that they can advise you in the proper way. Of course, you don’t have to agree on everything. No one ever agrees on everything. The differences can open up your eyes to new ideas.
You need mom friends who will lift you up when life and kids bring you down.Motherhood is the best and roughest stage of life. You never know what life is going to throw at you. You never know what the day will bring with your kid(s). Some days will just suck. Mom friends can relate to days like this, but they need to know what to say to get you out of your darkest days. It could be anything, such as stories to let you know you’re not alone, compliments on your mom skills, or positive words to bring you up to reality.
Don’t these sound familiar? Yes, you got it. You look for similar things when you’re dating someone. It’s funny how life can be so similar in different incidents.
Life is full of surprises, emotions, and relationships. Mom friends help you get through the ups and downs. Choose your mom friends wisely because they can either make you or break you just like any other relationship.
Check out my page, Kimi Ann-Marie for various of posts about life, mom life, and grieving. Check out my page, Positive Thinking About Parents Death for grieving advice about your mom or dad and reminding yourself you’re not alone.