I’m a newly working mom. And you know what, it sucks so much. I hate every moment of being a working mom. The battle between being a mom and working becomes a daily challenge I can’t get used to as much as I try. I can’t wrap my head around why a woman have to choice a career or having kids.
Money is everything. You can’t live without it. But what happened when you want a family?
Well, everything turns up down because you have to make a choice now. The choice is a career or being there for your kid/kids. Because for some unknown reason, a woman can’t have both. I will NEVER understand why but a woman can’t.
The one thing I can’t seem to wrap around my head is why it’s either having a kid(s) and being there for him/her while bring in money or having a career. Why can’t I have both?
I want to be there for my daughter like I was as a stay at home mom. But the truth is I can’t be there for her anymore like I was about 4 months ago. I’m hating EVERY MOMENT of it because all I want to do is be there for her. But now, I have other worries like if I’m going to have a job because my daughter is sick or has a day off from school. The next obstacle is finding someone who can watch my daughter.
As you can tell from my blog’s name, I’m a parentless mom so I don’t have the option of having my parents watch her or pick her up from school if I’m trapped at work or she’s off. I’m very luckily to have two sets of in-laws who are here for me whenever I need them. They’re truly amazing people and have helped so much when my hubby and I needed someone to watch my daughter.
But then again, I can’t help myself from feeling guilty because I’m not spending my daughter’s days off from school with her. I hate having to leave her with someone else. The thought of leaving her and being at work makes my heart feel heavy as if weight was dropped on it. The weight stays on my heart until I see her face in personal again.
I just want … to be there.
My heart feels like it’s being stabbed, knowing I have to choice going to work or being there for my daughter. I’m punished by getting threating from my job with warnings about being late, leaving earlier, or absences. I can’t help it if my daughter has a sudden early dismal from school because of the weather or has a day off and no one can watch her. She’s 5 and can’t stay home by herself. So what can I do? NOTHING … I can’t change the fact that I have to miss work to watch her when no one else can.
It’s not my fault. I don’t having a notebook filled of back up sitters.
I’m sorry … but then again I’m not sorry because society STILL expect me to be there EVEN THOUGH I have a job.
BUT how am I suppose to balance work and motherhood when companies aren’t flexible enough to understand?
Oh and the worst is no matter what I do, I’m considered a bad mom. I’m never good enough. If I’m working full time, I’m criticized for working and supporting my family. If I’m working part time, I’m supposed to work more because I’m not working enough to help support my family. Even as a stay at home mom, I got criticized for not working and supporting my family.
No matter what a woman isn’t good enough.
It’s about time woman ARE good enough for whatever life path she wants in her live.
Employers MUST start understanding the meaning of “flexible” because that’s what all moms deserves and truly wants when she’s working. Motherhood is unpredictable. You never know when a kid is going to get sick and need to stay home. Sickness just doesn’t work like that. It just takes over the class in an instant. For example, winter doesn’t send home a letter saying, I’m sending your kid home with the flu along with homework. Yes, of course, a teacher or school nurse can send home letters if the break out is separating fast. But you don’t know if your kid(s) will actually get the sickness.
With that being said, you need flexible just in case your kid is sick and must stay home from school. Also, kids are fearless creatures. What if your kid gets hurt and rushed to the hospital? You need to leave and be there for him or her. What if the school has an early dismissal or delay opening because of a storm? You will be leaving early if there’s a early dismal. If the school has a delay opening, you have no choice but to stay home until the school opens. I could go on and on with reason why a life with a kid is unpredictable.
The point is YOU NEVER KNOW what’s going to happen next. Yes, the future is unknown in general but when you’re raising little human(s) your life is chaos and out of your control even more than a life without them. Now, you have someone who depends on you and needs you there. Kids aren’t like an adult because they can’t take care of themselves .
I know what you’re going to say next. Why don’t I get involved with a direct sales company? Well, maybe some of us are bad at keeping up with the tax payment cycles then have to pay back the money after filing for taxes. It’s just not for everyone, so stop pressing Moms into direct sales.
I don’t think it should be so hard to get a remote or stay at home job. It’s like pulling teeth trying to figure out if something is a scam or real. How can you know? The truth is you can’t know for sure. It’s truly sad how as a person worries if a job is real or not. I’m still on a search for one. Maybe one day I will.
Honestly, the best jobs for moms are in a school during the school year and summer camps during summer break. A school job gets you off when your kid(s) are off, so you don’t have to worry about sitters during breaks and half days then you have off in the summer. Camps are a great job for mothers because you can bring your kid(s) for a low cost or even for free. It’s also a lot of fun and can help your kid(s) continuing learning throughout the long break.
Whatever career a mom choices, it should be flexible together her motherhood needs because NO mom wants to work crazy hours and miss time with her kid(s).