I talked about how Coronavirus is affecting my daughter in a blog post. In this one, I’m going to share how it’s affecting me.
I really don’t know where to begin. I’m STILL trying to process everything. When I feel like I am, another rule or restriction pops up for us to follow. It’s overwhelming. I can’t seem to wrap my head around what’s happening. All I know is COVID-19 makes me feel like I’m living in a never ending horror movie .
Just like everyone else, I thought 2020 was going to be a great year. I had so much hope for myself. I loved hearing about my daughter’s day at school and going to her school events. I became a working mom. My job wasn’t ideal but it brought money in and give me time to socialize with adults.
The two of us had mommy and daughter days. We loved going to the mall to shop, get food, and hang out in the play area. My hubby also got a day with my daughter once a week because I worked on Saturdays. It was a special day for the two of them especially since I stayed home for about 4 1/2 years before this. They never got the chance to spend time together without me. Life was pretty good.
Then, this pandemic happened and turned my life upside down. School closed before my job did. I couldn’t go to work because I need to stay with my daughter and start digital school with her.
My job ended up closing as well. I did get paid for 14 days before I applied for unemployment like tons of other people right now. I’m not sure what’s going on with claim but it’s all messed up. Nothing is clear right now. I hope I get answers soon.
My feeling are all over the place.
- I feel numb.
- I feel my depression growing inside of me.
- I feel my anxiety creeping up on me on more than normal.
- I feel lost.
- I feel confused.
- I feel hopeless.
- I feel trapped.
- I feel fear of what the future holds.
- I feel tired from all the feelings running through my mind.
Things I miss the most are …
- going to the park.
- going to the playground.
- seeing family members.
- going to the mall.
- going to the movies.
- seeing friends.
- food store being fully stocked.
- not worrying every time I have to go out for things my family and I need.
- bring my daughter places with me.
I just want things to go back to normal.
I long for the day I can go places without worrying about catching the virus and not holding back a panic attack.
For now, all I can’t do is take quarantine day by day. I’m surviving with wine, books, coffee, tea, movies/tv shows, and video games.
Read more of my quarantine post here: Quarantine/COVID-19/Coronavirus